A simple hack to become solution oriented

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One of the greatest myths you believe in is that people around you, various situations and factors are responsible for the quality of life you are living. But the real truth is : The only person responsible for every good thing and bad thing happening in your life is you.You’re the reason why you are where you are right now. It was you who made those choices, it was you who procrastinated, it was you who chose the wrong path, it was you who didn’t try to make it right.

We all go through some difficult phases in our lives but how we choose to respond makes the difference. There is a very famous formula which teaches :

Event + Response = Outcome

You have a series of events happening around you all the time and your responses to those events decide the outcome. Let’s take an example of a very famous personality Oprah Winfrey. She did not belong to a rich family. She had to wear clothes made up of potato sacks. She faced a lot of miseries but managed to become who she is today. It simply teaches us one thing that we can turn even the wrong events into right outcomes by our responses to those events.

We often have two responses to a problematic event : one is complaining and the other is blaming.

1. Complaining

We start complaining as soon as we get into a difficult situation. We sit and crib for hours for not getting good grades, for not receiving enough love from our partners, for not earning good enough, for not having a fit body and etc. We fail to realise that complaining today about yesterday won’t make tomorrow any better.

Complaining is as bad as chronic illness. If you get into the habit of cribbing and whining, there are lesser chances to work on a solution. We all know that complaining about a problem or an event is not going to change it but makes us even more upset about it. The only way to change it is to stop complaining and change your attitude towards it. You either accept it or make it better. So, start working on getting better grades, building a better body, having a good enough earning and making your relation work.

2. Blaming

Another negative response to a problematic event is blaming. We try to blame the situation on something or someone. We blame the climate for not being productive enough, we blame our boss not to give us enough hike, we blame our friends for getting us into wrong habits, partners blame each other for not being understanding enough. Is blaming making it any better? No. Putting the responsibility for something going wrong in your life on someone else is not going to get you out of the mess. We need to understand that blaming it on others is simply an excuse for us not accepting the fact that we are responsible for our failures and success.

These two habits create more problems for us than there is. In order to get a positive outcome, we must stop cribbing and blaming and start focusing on how to make things right.

You have to take 100% responsibility for everything in your life, be it good or bad which may include having debts, results you produce, reactions in certain situations, physical and mental health, quality of relationships, income and achievements — everything. Only after we have accepted this fact, we will be able to come up with the solution. We have to pay close attention to what is working for us and what is not. Do more of what is working and change what is not working. Cutting off more calories is working, great! Do more of it. Being on time is working, Perfect! keep it up! Sleeping late is not working, change it. We have to face the truth in order to make things right. Be it a financial crisis, relationship issue or a health problem, we need to be aware of the core problem first in order to deal with it and set things right.

You either accept the situation as it is or make it better. Do not make it worse by complaining and blaming. None of us like to be upset or disturbed but the only way to change it is to change your response towards it because it is only you who can do it, nobody else can do it for you.

Writer | Motivation | Life & Success | Optimist